drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
