I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
