i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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