hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
