That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
