If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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