we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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