I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
