I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
