I just made out with a guy for $7.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
