he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
