Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
