Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
