you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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