I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
and you fell through a lawn chair
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
