he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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