i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
