Duck Duck Cougar?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
