The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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