I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
