she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
