and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
