There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
