No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
