i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
