I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
