boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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