Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
