I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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