Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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