if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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