Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
