TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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