Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
