you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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