People in love make me want to vomit
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
