I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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