I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
the raccoons are back...
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