Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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