WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize