Quick, to the slutcave!
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
