So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
