Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm both gender and math confused
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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