Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
