I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
