People with herpes should wear stickers.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
