We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sober January is a disaster.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
