There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
