I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
