So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
