I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
