Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
