I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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