Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize