Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
