I look better un-naked...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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