So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
