check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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