I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
